We’re “Right Next Door”, your new favorite travel agency

A 2020-shitshow inspired business.

Amidst global chaos, some business ideas are to flourish more than others. At “Right Next Door”, we know how to spot an opportunity when we see one. Born out of the greatest minds the “start-up nation” and inspired by the recent global lockdown, our one-of-a-kind travel agency has everything you could hope for regarding innovative excursions in 2020.

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Ever dreamt of going to Paris, France? Or to visit Istanbul? Get lost in the Siberian tundra while horseback riding? Escape a violent death by air strike in Syria? Well, unless you already live in one of these beautiful regions, your plans are pretty much thwarted by the current state of things — we’re referring to the global pandemic happening right now, which has had us wish for more proficient ways to travel to outer space. But, ha, spaceships are still too expensive for all of us to just get the fuck outta here. That’s why, here, right here, at “Right Next Door”, we have decided to make “ local less dull”. And let me tell you, we have some very rich ideas about where to take you in 2020. Grab your prettiest face mask, put on your sunglasses and enjoy the foggy effect which will have you believe you just arrived in humid Key Biscayne!

KEBAB SHOP GRAND TOUR — For the foodie in you

It’s been years now that your couch, located right next to your flat’s only window that gives on that one busy street of your town, has been smelling like charred veal meat. However, you haven’t dared yet to try one of those gorgeous greasy döners (aka GGD) all shitfaced people (who are numerous to walk down your street on any given night of the week) seem to enjoy like it’s heaven-sent delicacy. Well, now’s the time to open your mind — and your mouth! — to new tasty adventures! And who knows, maybe you’ll get to experience the “turista” disease once again, bringing back fond memories of your one-time trip to Mumbai!

ESCAPADE TO THE DRUGSTORE — A must-see in 2020

Health tourism is definitely at its peak in 2020! Feeling a bit groggy? Thinking you might get sick? Grab your most recent prescription and head with us to your closest drugstore! In order to reduce as much as possible travel times, we use a perfected technology using your GPS coordinates and drugstore triangulation. Different premium services are provided: travel within your budget by public transportation, Uber, or limo. And if you really wish to treat yourself, we also provide a private ambulance service that’ll take you there faster than a space rocket to the moon! Let’s turn that beacon on!

VOLUNTEER TOURISM, REINVENTEDWho knew?! Salvation Army is right at the corner!

Who needs to travel far, when misery can be found right down your block? Have you ever dreamt of giving a helping hand to your fellow human, of experiencing that sweet ego boost that comes for witnessing an other human being’s distress, and feeling godlike power when you hand them a bowl of hot soup right before taking a selfie with them? Well, this year might not enable you to travel down to subsaharan countries, but it doesn’t mean you have to give up on your humanitarian tourism dreams! We’ve tracked down the best drug ghettos in your neighborhood. Contact us today. Bring on your selfie stick. Change the world for the better.

DOG PARK SAFARI — For all the animal lovers out there

We get it: you live in a city you chose for its (so long!) cultural life and you were willing to pay high price for a 1 bedroom apartment located on top of one of the gnarliest kebab shops in the western world. Now that savannah is rendered almost as far as Pluto’s glacial heart, you have to find new outlets for your love for animals. That’s why “Right Next Door” is providing you with the exciting opportunity of a Dog Park Safari! Grab your best camera, and no need for a telescopic lens here, if you’re lucky, you might even get to pet a cutsy French bulldog or the soft hair of a magnificent shih-tzu (dog availability depends on the average paycheck estimated in your neighborhood).

ADVENTURE! — Embark on a one-way journey in the subway for exciting times!

For an extra charge, get to lick the subway pole and combine your adventure time with some timely health tourism as soon as the symptoms arise! Talk to one of our representatives to learn more about this package. Free mask and hydro-alcoholic gel included in fee.

ECO-TOURISM — We take you to your local compost, by foot!

The one and only travel plan with a negative carbon-footprint you’ll find this year!

French-American writer. Comedian. Traveler. Witch. Featured on VICE (fr) — or how I got paid to write about my life instead of going to therapy. Paris//Chicago

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