Halloween costume idea: what is a Dark Night of the Soul and where can you get one?
Soulful living, Halloween and fashion trends: discover the secret to being the most glamorous (and darkest!) soul of the party and hear others say “damn, sinking into despair has never looked this good!”
Ah… Halloween season is here and the spookiest night of the year is well on its way! But how could you make Halloween 2019 even more special? This year, we introduce to you a brand new concept that will allow you to give the chills to everyone that crosses your path on October 31st, but will especially contribute to making your Halloween experience the darkest so far! Ladies, please welcome… THE DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL HALLOWEEN COSTUME!
Nothing to do with Batman here. After 2018 being all about the opioid epidemic, and trendy 2017 being about white patriarchy, 2019 is here to ground us into our true beings by revealing our darkest parts to…ourselves!
But first things first: what is a Dark Night of the Soul, and where can you get one?
According to our spiritual matters Bible (AKA ThoughtCatalog), the Dark Night of the Soul can be described as follows:
The dark night of the soul is a spiritual depression, a kind of existential crisis, that requires a deep and painful dip that must be experienced before enlightenment.
Well well well…how fun is that, uh?! For once, you’ll be dipping your chips into something other than your friend Susie’s store bought hummus, ammirite?
However, as seducing as it sounds, you bet it is not that easy to secure this Holy Grail of a Halloween costume (mostly worn on the inside — it’s like yoghurt: it’s active on the inside but shows on the outside!)! That’s why you’ll have to be very careful in order to obtain and reveal your Dark Night of the Soul if you want to be the Darkest bitch of the party this season. Here’s a step-by-step guide on how to get there:
1. Lose all sense of meaning surrounding life. Whether it be your career, family, or the next season of the Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, take your life purpose into the park at night, or the forest, or the nearest swamp, or your local Walmart, and just manage to lose it there—like you would a young child! If you manage well, you won’t hear about it for quite some time and will go home with a fresh outlook on life’s meaninglessness.
2. Watch the news 24/7 for a few days, weeks, months — depending on your level of natural empathy towards your fellow humans. Watch until your empathy drives you to a place of paralysis into sorrow, that will eventually lead to a place of nihilism once your brain will not be able to take the input anymore. With each report on KimK’s last pedicure, the weather or how this three-legged Ohio stray dog was found again 12 years later by the guy who saved him from being drowned as a puppy, you’ll get closer to your awaited and so-called “Soul Sunset”. Oh, not to mention the second-zone pieces of news about Syria and global warming that’ll give that crispy sense of despair.
3. Stop caring. The less you care, the easier it will be for you to display your Dark Night of the Soul at the Halloween party, telling whoever’s willing to hear it that “nothing matters and we’re all perishable beings made out of atoms of dust that surprisingly and randomly got granted consciousness — so why should I apply subjective beauty norms that make no sense in the eyes of the Universe, Dora?”. Paint your nails dark and just stop caring when your nail polish is cracking and your coworker Stacy stares in judgment. How EDGY!
4. Bring a doll with you everywhere you go, and don’t stop cuddling it, telling it how smart and lovable it is, and buying it things your parents never agreed to buy you as a child. Make a point at telling everyone you cross you’re pampering your inner child.
5. Start questioning absolutely EVERYTHING you’ve ever learned from humans. Even the fact that we DO have to eat, drink water, and poop. WHAT IF WE’RE JUST CONDITIONED TO DO SO? Become a breatharian for a few hours before Dora sneakily makes you break your oath to live solely on the air you breathe by asking “wanna try one of those chocolate chip cookies I got?”.
Do you feel on your way to enlightenment (and having the dopest Halloween vibe) yet? We sure hope (not) so!
